We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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