My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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