Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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