she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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