so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
