the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
