You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
