remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
