it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize