idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
