the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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