OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
