I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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