ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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