Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize