do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
