Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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