I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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