you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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