wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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