Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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