Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
NoShamevember. You game?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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