if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
