TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize