So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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