I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
