I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
