Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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