By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
