Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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