hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize