you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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