I need help removing her.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
