I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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