shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
