U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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