he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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