when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
