the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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