She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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