she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would fuck him just for his dog
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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