I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
