And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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