I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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