C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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