good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
