Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
