He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
