I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
