Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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