i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
