I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
