Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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