you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support