Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the day after is always just damage control
you told grandpa to call you daddy
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.