i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off