Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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