shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize