just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
