i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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