yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
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He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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