Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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